Buckeyes Ready to Crush Marshall’s Upset Dreams in Columbus

Marshall’s head coach Charles Huff is gearing up for the Buckeyes, and let’s just say his optimism is sky-high, like he’s about to walk into the ‘Shoe and rewrite Moneyball. You know, that movie where the Oakland A’s use analytics and spare change to compete with the big bad Yankees? Yeah, Huff is pretty much saying, “We’re the A’s, Ohio State’s the Yankees.”

He’s been in this role before, though, so maybe we should humor him. Remember when Marshall pulled a fast one on Notre Dame in 2022? Yeah, they shocked the Irish in South Bend. But, c’mon, beating Notre Dame in recent years isn’t exactly Mission: Impossible. And last year, they even got a win over Virginia Tech. Cute, but the Buckeyes are a different beast.

Huff knows this. “Ohio State’s a good football team,” he said, probably while staring at hours of film of TreVeyon Henderson running past defenders like he’s trying to catch the last bus home. But, of course, Huff had to throw in some coach-speak. “We don’t have to be superstars. This is not David vs. Goliath.” Well, Coach, if this isn’t David vs. Goliath, it’s at least David vs. Goliath’s younger brother, who can still bench press a truck.

Marshall (1-1) did have the benefit of a bye week after losing to Virginia Tech, so they’ve had plenty of time to scheme and dream. Bad news for them: Ohio State also had the week off after giving Western Michigan the worst kind of beatdown, a 56-0 thrashing that felt more like a scrimmage. Ryan Day called it an “improvement week,” which is code for “we’re already scary good, but now we’ve had extra time to sharpen the claws.”

Coach Day, in his typical fashion, gave some props to Marshall’s defense. “They’re sound in their scheme,” he said, which is coach-speak for “they try hard, bless their hearts.” But let’s be real: Ohio State’s defense just posted its first shutout since 2019 and limited Western Michigan to 99 total yards. That’s like playing Madden on rookie mode.

Marshall’s big hope seems to be A.J. Turner, who has flashed some speed, ripping off an 80-yard touchdown in their opener. But the guy has only touched the ball 14 times in two games. Meanwhile, Ohio State’s two-headed monster, Quinshon Judkins and TreVeyon Henderson, already has 294 yards and five touchdowns between them in just one game.

So, sure, Marshall’s coming in with a plan. But let’s face it, Buckeye Nation, this is just the next episode of “How Many Points Will We Put Up Before Halftime?”