Eric Boggs
Just when you thought Michigan’s infamous sign-stealing saga couldn’t get more bizarre, the NCAA has now turned its attention to Central Michigan, where apparently the Chippewas unknowingly moonlighted as a branch office for Jim Harbaugh’s covert ops department. According to the NCAA’s own infractions dashboard, Central Michigan received a Notice of Allegations on June 27 for its alleged part in Connor Stalions’ espionage scheme.
If you’re thinking, “Wait, the school where a guy in fake facial hair and spy glasses mysteriously appeared on the sidelines is also under investigation?”—well, yes. That’s exactly what’s happening.
This isn’t breaking news to anyone who remembers the viral photos of what looked very much like Stalions—decked out in Central Michigan coaching gear, facial hair glued on like a last-minute Halloween costume, and high-tech sunglasses that lit up like a Dollar Tree gadget gone rogue—lurking on the Chippewas’ sideline last fall. He was allegedly there for Central’s opener against Michigan State, which conveniently aligned with Michigan’s scouting interests.
At the time, Central Michigan claimed they were just as surprised as anyone, issuing a vague statement and launching an internal investigation that’s now been folded into the larger NCAA probe. For the record, Stalions had professional connections to CMU staff, including then-head coach Jim McElwain (formerly of Michigan) and QB coach Jake Kostner, a former Michigan student assistant. Both men are now out at CMU, with McElwain stepping down after the 2023 season and Kostner exiting just before the 2024 campaign began.
As for Ohio State fans, this whole cloak-and-dagger drama—Netflix documentary and all—has evolved into a surreal waiting game. Michigan already had its Committee on Infractions hearing in June, and a ruling on their punishment is expected before the start of the 2025 season.
Given the scope of the scandal and the NCAA now sniffing around other programs tied to the mess, it sure feels like the walls are finally closing in. After all, you don’t usually need a six-month investigation, undercover sideline disguises, and FBI-quality footage to figure out someone stole a couple signals. This was elaborate, it was deliberate, and it arguably altered the course of multiple seasons.
For those of us in scarlet and gray, we can’t help but wonder when the justice we’ve long waited for will be served. Maybe we’ll finally stop hearing about how Michigan’s four year winning streak over Ohio State were purely “culture-driven” and start calling them what they were—contaminated.
At the very least, perhaps the Big Ten will have the courage to put an asterisk next to those wins. Until then, we’ll keep an eye on the NCAA, CMU, and whoever else gets caught in the expanding Stalions Spy Ring. Buckeye fans have been patient, but we’d prefer the next Big Ten title be decided on the field—not behind a pair of glow-in-the-dark Ray-Bans.
